School work

school work has been extremely harsh on me lately, yes it is very hard and lots to do…labs, essays, etc etc etc. I need more ppl in my life.

Today

So, I get butterflys thinking about HOBY. i dont know if i’ll get picked or not…dont think that guidance guy likes me though, but hey i put everything i got out there…lets see if i’ll go somewhere. Bal vihar…hmmm.. i enjoy it, culture today and language. it was easy, simple. I totally want to do some sort of sport…but i guess i hav to get in shape first though..so im going to run/work out every tues. and thurs. (at the gym) and try out for soccer intramurals. Wanna get more involved in key club and newspaper though…and mock trial – i wonder when they start, its been awhile. Oooh, yes and grappling! gotta join that class and pay like 300 bucks..maybe my parents ll do it. still in search for that job, im thinking about a golf course..and maybe like a doctors office or so..im so desperate i’ll even do a paper route! but deff nothing in retail or diners. wayy too gory for me. they’ll be my last choices. Im going to start up tennis soon and do the session in Jan. i wonder if ill face some sort of miracle and make spring track – and be good (only sprints, im not much for long distance, maybe long jump, maybe hurdles). i have a huge to do list to make and oh yes, my task for today

 

1) finish APUSH reading/notes (1.25 chapters left to go! – aka 3 more hours)

2) English outline (wtf, there was no civil rights movement in the 1930s, how am i possibly going to write a grad report on that?!)

3) Precalc – study, Physics – study/hw, span – study for quiz

Guess what?

SAT/ACT tomm…omg i don’t know if it’ll be 4 hours or 6…i hope 4!!!! i will die if its 6. Anyway, then i get to go swimming…sunday school omg the textbook is a dream come true! its amazing! i love it! Hopefully i get a good grade on the tests…im studying all day today and it would feel totally amazing to know i did great on the test w/out studying..you know? Social life is getting much better. I learned how to become a millionaire..cool huh? I have to write some stuff down, night.

School’s Started

and life sucks…not too bad but its not great. Lots of vigorous classes, no social life (no one seems to care that im new) and lots of tests…but im still trying to make that harvard dream come true…

Insufficient Times

I am aware that i haven’t written for a while, but nothing interesting really happened lately. Life’s still the same old boring thing, my goals haven’t changed, my to do list hasn’t changed. Oh except, I went to the orientation the other day to volunteer at the Hospital and man was it strange! 3 hours of sitting and listening to a lecture made up of rules and regulations and blah blah blah, we watched 2 corny and horrifying videos on fire safety and good attitudes…and the only thing i really liked about it was the fact we were given a break. The lady who gave the talk was certainly very fine, she’s a grandparent with apparently a daughter who lives with her as well as 4 grandchildren…who also live with her…and they’re all under 5. Amazing, how does she live with herself? Not only that, she’s going to school! (getting a degree). Its nice that she’s a very humorous woman with a brillilant sense of sharpness, that should help her alot through the tough times. I also learned how to read faces! Ancient chinese art called mien siung or something. Its not bad, actually i think it might actually help. I wish time machines were invented, but they’re not yet…maybe in my lifetime they might? I have another 75 years left, hoping i pass 100. A lot should be accomplished in this time

Bharatanatyam

Instructional Website

http://onlinebharatanatyam.com/Resources/

Sessions

http://onlinebharathanatyamacademy.wordpress.com/2008/02/14/session-9-natta-adavu/

Naat Adavu

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AjsAU_bjNCA

Thatta Adavu

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-8398579368789460664&ei=hN6YSPbfFJSUrgLS2KngDQ&q=adavu&vt=lf&hl=en

Wisdom Teeth

Getting all 4 teeth pulled out in about 10 hours, yes im kinda nervous but kinda not, we’ll find out tomm morning. Im pissed cuz i cant drink or eat anything 9 hrs. prior to surgery. Im hoping it’ll go well, hopefully i wont face too much pain. Ouch i hate this! Agh. Keeping my last bottle of water for 9 hrs. close to me…dear god, please get me through this peacefully. Whoo.

Hmmm..

Making Sense

Things are kinda starting to make sense, but not really. Everythings a huge jumble, a crazy mess. So many thoughts, everywhere i turn problems problems problems – will they ever go away? Most likely not – who am i kidding. Can’t even sleep at night because my stupid brain won’t shut up and stop thinking. Always on the move, jeez everythings getting messed up. I have alot of plans, need to organize them, alongside of that – my future, need to make sense of that, and as if i don’t have enough on my plate, fate added another side dish – my parents (they really know how to annoy the crap out of each other and argue – had they applied for a Ph.D in this feild, they would have got it in a weekend) and also, the stupid frikking house – no offense yeah I totally love it. But all this work. Its so annoying, i mean really how hard is it to go get a lawn mower our lawn is totally a forest and i have no idea what to do with it. I don’t work, i can’t go out and buy a lawn mower. Things are totally deteriorating, parents always stressed out, lil bro life getting ruined b/c of me – i need to spend more time with him and press out all the bullshit in him and bring out his greater potential. Im a pretty selfish person aren’t i. Half my dreams never come true so i wonder what the point of dreaming is..then again they say 99% of your desires are never fullfilled. Huh, that makes everything easier doesn’t it (joking). I don’t know if i can make it through this, hopefully i can, and i will, and i have and im prepared to take on the ridiculously rough future ahead…hopefully.

special calling or delusion?

I wonder what im good for…what am i good for. i keep forgetting. I keep getting confused. One moment im walking into abercrombie gazing at all the ridiculously expensive apparel and imagining them on me…and next moment im thinking of how to pull off renouncing worldly pleasures but at the same time gain the support of the world. I think maybe what im doing is actually selfish…am i doing this for myself or for the world? what kind of an idiot am i. is it selfish to want to intertwine hospitals around the world and supply quality healthcare to everyone – regardless of wealth, class, state, etc etc etc. Is that selfish? yeah. I plan to do that with my own money and with the help of lots of friends and whoever can get involved. but here’s the catch. I plan to do that with my own money. My own hard earned money. The money i toil for, whereas swami c had even better methods. He goes and gets other people to pay for his projects. Is that what i should do? But….what? I have no plans to raise a big successful family or build a huge mansion with alll the worlds most expensive things in it. A condo or even a hut might be nice enough. But why spend all that time and effort trying to make money MYSELF. and then building my projects for the world MYSELF. what meaning does something have if only one person does everything? Huh? All i get is recognition. maybe my hospitals will get rich, famous, successful. But so what. Maybe the world has now a better chance to make sure its pop never ever declines due to poor healthcare. But so what. And maybe it’ll be all my fault that these hospitals were built, but so what. What would be extra meaningful is if the rich people in the world finally know the more beautiful things beyond material possessions and give give give to help their bros and sisters. To know that a network of hospitals have been created through the participation, involvement, and passion of the rich, the dedicated, the generous, the passionate and SO many of Them! Thats what will be worth this. But how is this possible. Today it seems nobody cares about anything but themselves and that close to them. i don’t know but its worth a shot eh.

Okay heres the plan

Graduate HIgh School with SO many Scholarships you have more than enough $!!

Attend Undergrad at UPENN

Attend MD-Ph.D program at worlds (or U.s.’s) most prestigious univ.

Hit workforce, start practicing skills, meeting people, make friends, become a big shot. Win respect.

Start Hospital Chain through investments, carefully planned and collaborated through many, many people. Sure i might direct it, but it certainly wont be all mine.

 

Good plan huh? whatever comes in between will come in between, but this shall certainly not change and i will make sure that nothing changes with my life. No alterations, modifications, obstacles, or changes are invited nor will they ever be accepted. Ever. I’ve had enough of life. Basta.